Never, Never, Never Give Up

You probably didn’t notice, but 2020 has seen a little hiatus here in Dove Cottage. A break has definitely been a long time coming - I’ve worked on my blog pretty much every day for almost five years - but I’m not going to pretend that the reason I’ve been offline for a month is solely down to burn-out. Because unfortunately there’s a little more to it. 

A couple of days after Christmas my beloved Dad, and one of my favourite people in the whole world, passed away. He’d been ill for a while, and we’ve had a tough couple of years - hence me lately taking more time to prioritise my mental health and well-being. 

But although we knew it was coming, it still somehow felt like a shock. A little part of me truly believed a last-minute miracle was coming through for us. And even after watching him slip away with my own eyes, I spent the first week or so waiting on a phone call to say they'd been a mistake, and everything could go back to normal. 

But I actually wanted this post to be uplifting, as, believe it or not, my Dad was a pillar of positivity. Six years ago, long before he fell ill, my Dad stood up and gave the most amazing father of the bride speech at my wedding. It started and ended with the famous quote from Sir Winston Churchill: "Never, never, never give up". 

None of us had any idea how apt those five words would come to be.

Time and time again, Dad faced the worst news imaginable with the utmost bravery and unwavering positivity, never once complaining about the bad luck he’d been given. He touched the lives of everyone he came into contact with, spreading positivity and gratitude around like confetti. 

This is the man for who being poorly had given him a new lease of life. It changed the way he viewed the world, and he strived to see all the good that had come from him falling ill - be it getting to spend more time with family, old friends coming back into his life, or finding a spirituality he wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. 

Imagine hearing the news you've got three months to live, and then picking yourself up the next day and thinking 'I'm not going to let this beat me'. It was that attitude, in the face of such overwhelming adversity, that meant he was still around nearly two years later. 

He believed you could achieve anything with a kind heart and open mind, and while he couldn't quite grant his ultimate wish, he did become the biggest inspiration a person can be, changing us all for the better.

Watching someone I love face the most terrifying time imaginable with such calmness, gratitude and positivity has had a profound effect on me. I want to be a better person. I want to rid myself of my crippling self doubt. I want to face life with his positivity. And most of all I want warmth and hope to shine from my face like it did from his.

My dad was my biggest cheerleader, he absolutely believed I could do anything, and that it was only a matter of time before I would ‘make it big' in whatever I wanted to. In these past few weeks, whenever those familiar black clouds creep into my peripheral vision, his voice has been there too, reminding me to never, never, never give up. 

So here I am, picking myself up, and getting back to business, because I learnt all about that from the master. 

Thanks for reading,
Sam Xx